Years ago my son's father and I separated. My son became like so many children in America a product of a broken family.He had the hardest time adjusting to living in two completely different homes,having two completely different sets of toys and his"favorite things".I remember one night snuggling him while he said how hard it was to sleep at night in a house without me(I had always worked out a way to be home with him,we never used babysitters,and being separated from me was very new to him) I told him to snuggle with his favorite stuffed animal at his other home and know that I was thinking about him.
At this time his father and I were still combative to say the least,no matter what the other said words would get twisted and feelings would get hurt.While in this stage of our finding our new way,he decided he didn't want our son to bring anything from my home to his home.He said he would provide his own clothing and toys for our son,rather then dealing with moving things from one house to another.Honestly what could I say to that?He would not allow any of my house toys to go with him.
That is where a simple FISH comes in.Christopher's father brought him a stuffed fish.Oh how Christopher would tell me what a perfect fish friend Mr.Fishy was.And how that was his favorite toy at his father's house.And that was the one toy he would snuggle at night at his father's house so he wouldn't miss me so much.He loved that fish.It was his first friend.He would tell me how he would tell Mr.Fishy when he was scared or lonely and Mr.Fishy would make him feel better with magic.Mr.Fishy was the holder of my son's earliest childhood secrets.Mr.Fishy helped Christopher cope during a very difficult time.Mr.Fishy was priceless.At this point I had never laid eyes on Mr.Fishy,I only knew of him through my son explaining him to me,but I knew his worth.
When Christopher was five years old,it happened,his father had a garage sell.And sadly Mr.Fishy was sold.He was gone.Christopher came home so upset.He just kept saying my fish,my fish.When I got him calmed down enough to tell me what happened he said "He sold my fish,my Mr.Fishy is gone"At that point I explained there had to be a reason,and maybe he was mistaken and his fishy friend had not been sold.
I called his father and really I felt a little stupid asking about a stuffed fish.His father said "oh yeah It's just a stuffed animal Big Deal"
Mr Fishy was gone,but maybe his father had a point it was after all just a stuffed toy.They are a dime a dozen, right?
Having never seen Mr Fishy I could only look online for a stuffed fish that might be a good look alike..After endless NO MOM that's not him.And many toy store visits to hear the same that's not what he looked like..I gave up my search.After all It's just a stuffed animal..big deal.
Years pasted,slowly Christopher stopped talking about Mr Fishy.
A few weeks ago while in the car out of no where Christopher started to cry and he said I miss my friend mom.I without thinking replied don't be silly we just had a sleep over with all your friends..how on Earth can you miss them?That's when he said no I miss Mr.Fishy,he was my friend and I loved him.And now he's gone.I'm not heartless but.... really??? It was a STUFFED toy.Seven years had passed since the garage sell,seven long long long years.Christopher is now a computer junkie,a video gamer,and not a stuffed toy lover or snuggler anymore.How can he still be missing this fish? I told him maybe one day we would find Mr Fishy again,and maybe Mr Fishy would remember his favorite boy.I will be honest I was saying anything with the hopes he would stop crying.
This afternoon,we stopped into a local thrift store.I had to drag my boys in pretty much kicking and screaming,they hate the thrift store.I on the other hand love them.I have found so many great deals..just last week I picked up a Pink Prada handbag for 7.50..I kid you not..PRADA and PINK my two favorite things.
I have also picked up a Dolce & Gabbana handbag for a few dollars in the past.I know the value in great deals.And sometimes thrift stores are just the right place to look.And today's find was amazing.Even better then when I found my Pink Prada.Today was pure joy.
The boys were starting to drive me bonkers,Every second I heard are you done mom?Can we leave?I'm hungry,I'm thirsty(even after I know they were well fed and watered,lol)I'm bored..all of this on a loop..over and over.I decided to bring them to the little toy section of this thrift store..Like most thrift stores the toy section is mostly baby toys,rarely anything great,however this thrift store has the toy section right near the handbags..you get where I'm going right?They can look at not so great toys while I look at fabulous purses.
Christopher just lite up and started getting frantic and he started digging through a huge pile of stuffed animals,screaming HE'S HERE,HE'S HERE.(let me give a little background..Christopher while still a child is man sized,he's large,bulky,and rarely moves fast for anything..He has autism so when I saw the frantic state,I braced myself wondering was a meltdown about to happen)At this point stuffed animals are flying everywhere..it was really raining cats and dogs and teddy bears and I'm sure I saw a stuffed pig fly.Justin my seven year old clung to me for dear life,this was not how Christopher normally behaves.Other shoppers had taken notice of my man sized child freaking out and throwing stuffed animals everywhere,some seemed shocked at first,others could see he wasn't hurting anyone and to be honest I think they watched just to see what would happen next.Then he had a FISH in his hands..he just stood there holding this stuffed fish.
He was beaming..I didn't even have to ask if that was Mr Fishy I knew it was.I knew that Mr Fishy had found it's way back to Christopher.And Christopher had his friend back.Christopher stood in the middle of a pile of stuffed animals hugging this fish,at this point he was sobbing my friend I finally found you,I will never let you go again.I was tearing up myself but still in shock also,I was worried we would get kicked out,I was worried people would think there was something really wrong with my child,I was worried these strangers would judge him.Then I noticed a few of these shoppers were crying also.This little old lady said to me..you rarely see a real joy anymore.(I have to disagree I see real joy daily,Christopher is my son)..Then the other shoppers all started helping put all the stuffed animals away.Some of them talked to Christopher and asked how long Mr Fishy had been missing,most of them offered to buy Mr Fishy for him,none of them looked in disgust or down on him.None of them were scared of him freaking out and going on a stuffed animal rampage,none of them saw anything except a child finding a stuffed friend.
I'm sitting here still in complete awe at what happened today.And yes it's still just a stuffed animal..and really no big deal..BUT it is a big deal.It's so much more then a stuffed animal.To my child this is a friend.This is a keeper of secrets,this is what matters to him.And if it matters to him then it is a BIG DEAL.It has been seven years since he lost Mr Fishy..however he never stopped loving Mr Fishy.While he may not have spoken of Mr Fishy daily it is apparent he was still mourning the loss.
What may not seem like a lot to you,may mean everything to a child.
At this time his father and I were still combative to say the least,no matter what the other said words would get twisted and feelings would get hurt.While in this stage of our finding our new way,he decided he didn't want our son to bring anything from my home to his home.He said he would provide his own clothing and toys for our son,rather then dealing with moving things from one house to another.Honestly what could I say to that?He would not allow any of my house toys to go with him.
That is where a simple FISH comes in.Christopher's father brought him a stuffed fish.Oh how Christopher would tell me what a perfect fish friend Mr.Fishy was.And how that was his favorite toy at his father's house.And that was the one toy he would snuggle at night at his father's house so he wouldn't miss me so much.He loved that fish.It was his first friend.He would tell me how he would tell Mr.Fishy when he was scared or lonely and Mr.Fishy would make him feel better with magic.Mr.Fishy was the holder of my son's earliest childhood secrets.Mr.Fishy helped Christopher cope during a very difficult time.Mr.Fishy was priceless.At this point I had never laid eyes on Mr.Fishy,I only knew of him through my son explaining him to me,but I knew his worth.
When Christopher was five years old,it happened,his father had a garage sell.And sadly Mr.Fishy was sold.He was gone.Christopher came home so upset.He just kept saying my fish,my fish.When I got him calmed down enough to tell me what happened he said "He sold my fish,my Mr.Fishy is gone"At that point I explained there had to be a reason,and maybe he was mistaken and his fishy friend had not been sold.
I called his father and really I felt a little stupid asking about a stuffed fish.His father said "oh yeah It's just a stuffed animal Big Deal"
Mr Fishy was gone,but maybe his father had a point it was after all just a stuffed toy.They are a dime a dozen, right?
Having never seen Mr Fishy I could only look online for a stuffed fish that might be a good look alike..After endless NO MOM that's not him.And many toy store visits to hear the same that's not what he looked like..I gave up my search.After all It's just a stuffed animal..big deal.
Years pasted,slowly Christopher stopped talking about Mr Fishy.
A few weeks ago while in the car out of no where Christopher started to cry and he said I miss my friend mom.I without thinking replied don't be silly we just had a sleep over with all your friends..how on Earth can you miss them?That's when he said no I miss Mr.Fishy,he was my friend and I loved him.And now he's gone.I'm not heartless but.... really??? It was a STUFFED toy.Seven years had passed since the garage sell,seven long long long years.Christopher is now a computer junkie,a video gamer,and not a stuffed toy lover or snuggler anymore.How can he still be missing this fish? I told him maybe one day we would find Mr Fishy again,and maybe Mr Fishy would remember his favorite boy.I will be honest I was saying anything with the hopes he would stop crying.
This afternoon,we stopped into a local thrift store.I had to drag my boys in pretty much kicking and screaming,they hate the thrift store.I on the other hand love them.I have found so many great deals..just last week I picked up a Pink Prada handbag for 7.50..I kid you not..PRADA and PINK my two favorite things.
I have also picked up a Dolce & Gabbana handbag for a few dollars in the past.I know the value in great deals.And sometimes thrift stores are just the right place to look.And today's find was amazing.Even better then when I found my Pink Prada.Today was pure joy.
The boys were starting to drive me bonkers,Every second I heard are you done mom?Can we leave?I'm hungry,I'm thirsty(even after I know they were well fed and watered,lol)I'm bored..all of this on a loop..over and over.I decided to bring them to the little toy section of this thrift store..Like most thrift stores the toy section is mostly baby toys,rarely anything great,however this thrift store has the toy section right near the handbags..you get where I'm going right?They can look at not so great toys while I look at fabulous purses.
Christopher just lite up and started getting frantic and he started digging through a huge pile of stuffed animals,screaming HE'S HERE,HE'S HERE.(let me give a little background..Christopher while still a child is man sized,he's large,bulky,and rarely moves fast for anything..He has autism so when I saw the frantic state,I braced myself wondering was a meltdown about to happen)At this point stuffed animals are flying everywhere..it was really raining cats and dogs and teddy bears and I'm sure I saw a stuffed pig fly.Justin my seven year old clung to me for dear life,this was not how Christopher normally behaves.Other shoppers had taken notice of my man sized child freaking out and throwing stuffed animals everywhere,some seemed shocked at first,others could see he wasn't hurting anyone and to be honest I think they watched just to see what would happen next.Then he had a FISH in his hands..he just stood there holding this stuffed fish.
He was beaming..I didn't even have to ask if that was Mr Fishy I knew it was.I knew that Mr Fishy had found it's way back to Christopher.And Christopher had his friend back.Christopher stood in the middle of a pile of stuffed animals hugging this fish,at this point he was sobbing my friend I finally found you,I will never let you go again.I was tearing up myself but still in shock also,I was worried we would get kicked out,I was worried people would think there was something really wrong with my child,I was worried these strangers would judge him.Then I noticed a few of these shoppers were crying also.This little old lady said to me..you rarely see a real joy anymore.(I have to disagree I see real joy daily,Christopher is my son)..Then the other shoppers all started helping put all the stuffed animals away.Some of them talked to Christopher and asked how long Mr Fishy had been missing,most of them offered to buy Mr Fishy for him,none of them looked in disgust or down on him.None of them were scared of him freaking out and going on a stuffed animal rampage,none of them saw anything except a child finding a stuffed friend.
I'm sitting here still in complete awe at what happened today.And yes it's still just a stuffed animal..and really no big deal..BUT it is a big deal.It's so much more then a stuffed animal.To my child this is a friend.This is a keeper of secrets,this is what matters to him.And if it matters to him then it is a BIG DEAL.It has been seven years since he lost Mr Fishy..however he never stopped loving Mr Fishy.While he may not have spoken of Mr Fishy daily it is apparent he was still mourning the loss.
What may not seem like a lot to you,may mean everything to a child.
That's amazing how it all worked out...each step taking you on the right path exactly when it was needed.simply awesome! J has a huge fishy too.the pillow type from bass pro from his dad! Loves that thing!
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