I'm so screwed

 Well I did get the tractor started YAY...and then I got some HAY out so YAY FOR HAY.

So my friend Laura calls and says hey I have the whole weekend planned for you(I love when she does that,lol)Anyways the plans were circus on Saturday..Epcot on Sunday..woohoo sounds like a blast...so excited.
 Then my van broke...good grief....and for the record..I can fix a tractor but not a stupid minivan.A million thanks to the random strangers that stopped and helped me push the van..and a million and one thanks to the random stranger that went home to get her husband to see if he could get me running.Its so refreshing to see truely honest to goodness great people..willing to help out while I tried my hardest to cowgirl up but was closer to having a breakdown(you know mental..the van already had a breakdown)on the side of the road.
  I hate the feeling of helplessness..I know I'm so much stronger then that.Yet I felt like a complete loser.

 Anyways I have to say my Cowboy even being way up in NC made a few calls got John the mechanic to come with a tow truck..The Cowboy's mom Hilda(I love her)came to pick me and Justin up.So now I'm carless...and stuck on the ranch.(not that its the worst place in the world to be)but I really wanted to go to the circus.And you know have a car for grown up stuff like getting to the grocery store and stuff.Boy this really sucks.
  Anyways if you happen to see a tractor rolling down the HWY with a carseat on it...Its just me and the boys.

 I sure hope the van gets fixed fast and its an easy fix.

Hostage Standoff Christmas,Florida

Help I'm being held hostage,I am stuck in my house unable to do my cowgirl duties(I'm having coffee watching last nights survivior and enjoying the AC..so you can see just how dire this is..)
 So the tractor is broke..crappers I need it.Anyways a call to the cowboy last night and he thinks its a dead battery...cuz DID YOU KNOW THAT TRACTORS HAD HEADLIGHTS?Well I didn't and I think in my using it I may of turned them on and left them on..becouse lets face it I have NO IDEA what I'm doing.So I need to get to the warehouse..thankfully I parked the tractor next to the warehouse(so grateful I did something right!!!)And hook up the battery charger and PRAY it works.
  I need to get hay in the field...the cows are looking for the hay.

Ok for those who haven't been to our ranch...we have a pet cow.Yes I know we have lots of cows but one is a true pet.She started out as Ugly Cow(cuz she was ugly)And she slowly turned into Ugly Betty..now everyone(except me)just calls her Betty..Anyways she knows she's a pet and I guess as far as a cow's life goes she's rather pampered.We hand feed her..ok the cowboy hand feeds her I put some cow chow(lol can you belive there is really a thing called cow chow..I don't know why I laugh everytime I read the bag but I do)Ok back to the point..I put her cow chow in a bucket and just let her do her thing.
 Everytime she sees me she comes running..and wants to play.Only playing with a cow is not so easy..its not like she can roll over and play dead or fetch a stick.Playing with a cow means she HEAD BUTTS me..and to be honest its hurts.She's a cow for goodness sakes she's BIG.
  So that brings us to the hostage standoff....I already fed the animals(aside from the cows..thankful we have grass they can graze)I even gave Ugly Cow a bucket of cow chow.but she won't leave!!!!
 She's is just waiting outside...I can't get to the warehouse to fix the tractor..then get the hay...nope she is just outside MOO-ing.So I am forced to watch TV and drink coffee and have a semi"normal"day....

Ugly cow at Justins first birthday party..lol she ate his cake

mom we're bored...really well lets fix it

 Ok when mommy is stressed out and has a MILLION things to do..its never a great idea for kids to say we're bored...You would think they would teach them that in school..you know every kid should know that.
 
 So I thought of something cool they could do..at first they were super excited...then lets just say they started having a really crappy time...for the life of me I can't understand why..ummmmmmmm tough crowd I guess.
  I had them shovel poo for the compost pile!!It was a win win..meaning I didn't have to do it..hahahahahaha
Plus I mean With Earth day and all the kids need to learn this stuff..oh and I didn't have to do it...BONUS!!!

Thanks Boys

what a hotdog really is

 So my 4 year old understands where a burger comes from...he knows where chicken comes from(LOL and when he gets mad a chicken he says he's gonna eat him...funny to watch him yelling I'll FRY YOU UP at the chickens)
 Today however he came up with just where HOTDOGS come from...and he explained it to me...hotdogs are snakes they cut up.Then they paint them hotdog color...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You know I was to tired to explaine the truth.

Agrestic Farm oh and its 4-20..works perfect

So ever since my garden has started to grow I have noticed that the police helicopers(or more likely sheriffes helicopters)tend to be doing more fly bys and getting much lower.We are used to seeing them flying and checking out the property.LOL Christopher thinks they are fans of COWS and thats why they do fly overs..
 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA they are looking for POT FIELDS..
I want to mess with them and put a bunch of LIGHTS in the warehouse and see how long it takes them to do a raid.LOL
  Anyways thank you Andrea for renameing our ranch for the day.....Now everyone that knows about AGRESTIC enjoy the song that has to be stuck in your head...right now

small harvest day

 Hey so I was able to harvest a few radishes today.How cute are those?

I was super excited,once again I'm just truely amazed I grew something.So little Justin and I harvested up lots of radishes and after getting them all cleaned up....I remembered just how much I disslike radishes.I sliced one up thinking maybe I'll like them since after all I GREW THEM...nope still hate them..gross ,,still don't like them.Now Justin for some odd reason thought they were baby apples so he grabbed a whole one off the counter and took a big bite..hahahahahahahahahahaha guess what?He pretty much feels the same way i do about radishes.

Thankfully my MIL Hilda likes radishes..oh and my goats adore them...so at least I feel better knowing I grew them for a reason

Turn left at the brown cow..then right at the bull..and there is the gate

Ok so this happened while the cowboy was still here..but one of my friends said I should share this and well its pretty funny so why not?

 We like to have parties and rarely does a party we throw end before night sets in.Now due to the fact this is a cattle ranch we don't have pretty street lights..heck we don't even have streets.Just a field....who could get lost in an OPEN FIELD?
 Well let me tell you...I happen to have a friend that can get lost in an open field...and its not like she got lost once..several times she has gotten lost..so its my duty to never let her forget it,lol
 
 So one night we are all sitting around a fire,when Marcelle said she had to leave.So she hops in the car and takes off.Then She puts on her TURN SIGNAL..we bust out laughing I mean where is she going..its an open field...who is she signaling too?Then she starts to back up..then she puts on her signal again and turns towards the swamp..Then she puts on the signal again and drives across the field towards the lake..At this point I'm like rolling on the ground laughing...ITS A STRAIGHT SHOT FROM WHERE EVERYONE PARKS TO THE GATE....you just gotta drive across an OPEN FIELD.
I grab my cell phone and call Marcelle...this is the conversaion
Me...hey Marcelle whats up?
Marcelle..I think I'm lost?
Me...well where are you going?
Marcelle..the gate
Me..well you are gonna drive into the lake
Marcelle..are you sure?
Me..yes(followed by me giggleing like a school girl and everyone at the campfire busting out laughing)
Marcelle..well where is the gate
Me..same place its always at..we didn't move it
Marcelle..you sure
Me..yes..its not that easy
Me..oh and why are you useing turn signals
Marcelle..I think for the cows

LMAO...I love Marcelle

Egg hunt 2010...Ride in the back with the kids....

Ok so I'm just trying to play catch up with what has happened so far while the COWBOY was away.
 So every year the cowboy and I have a great Egg hunt for the kids.We love it and look forward to it every single year.However there is alot of work involved with this.My friends and I fill all the plastic eggs with goodies for the kids(and drink while we do this..no reason to add that other then I really like to drink while we fill the eggs,lol)
 And the Cowboy worked on getting the ranch ready..I never knew just how much work he did..till he wasn't here to do it.Normaly our feild is "clear"of cow patties..This year however when it came time to hide the eggs...my friends and I just looked apon the poo filled field..and then and there the cowboy was greatly missed.However we still hid those eggs..and thankfully the kids didn't have such a crappy time,lol
  Then there was the BONFIRE we always have a fire..you just can't roast peeps without a fire.Thankfully I still had a dried out Christmas tree laying around..and WOW did that baby burn.So fire done..woohoo
 Thats when I saw the greatest thing in the world...my friend Linda's husband was shoveling POOP..so the fire ring area was clear of the poop...I bet he really missed the COWBOY,lol
 
 Now the cowboy would do hayrides for the kids...me I rigged a scaled down ride,I used the trailwagon and a small trailor.Worked just fine...However the Cowboy tends to really plan well..me on the other hand..I'm a fly by the seat of my pants girl..no real thought at all...I take the NIKE slogan JUST DO IT to heart.And doing so..I didn't think out the rides course..we just DID IT.
About halfway thru the ride we ended up in a flooded area.Holy moly water coming inside the wagon..wheels spinning not really going anywhere..for a second I was just frozen with fear..thinking THE COWBOY IS GONNA KILL ME...one of the last things he said was don't break anything...Then My friend Linda sitting next to me says JUST FLOOR IT..snapped me back to reality and I just DID IT..I floored that baby and we made it..only to get to the other side that had just as much water.....I kept it floored the whole time.And when the ride was over.....everyone in the back was covered in a layer of MUD..hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
 My friends who insisted on riding in front truely know the fact that I don't think things thru...and they were safe...but Laura kept freaking out that Linda was spilling her wine on her..seemed pretty funny when the ride was over..Laura is saying I have wine on my jeans and everyone sitting in the back is covered in MUD.

I want to think all my friends for helping make the egg hunt happen....And to Michelle next time I say ride in the back with the kids...JUST SAY NO

Bunnies,Sunshine,Butterflies,and Rainbows

 So which of these cute things don't belong?Come on I bet you can get it..Give up?

BUNNIES or in my case one solo little bunny.He's cute as can be.He's they type of bunny that if you saw him in the woods wou would stop to say AWWWWWWWWW....well unless you were my neighbor Tator..With a name like Tator you can pretty much figure out that man would shot that bunny and have it for dinner..ok back to the bunny that clearly does not belong.
 Before the cowboy left he was fencing off a piece of land for me to garden on...now living on a cattle ranch he fenced to keep big animals out..you know horses and cows and one crazy pony.So he used Barbwire..awesome stuff...however that tends to keep LARGE animals out.
 The whole time the cowboy was fencing this land...there was a little brown bunny watching him..I kid you not..this bunny set up on a hay pile and watched the cowboy.Its like the bunny knew.Then while I was planting I saw the bunny.And you know what....I took the time to say AWWWWWWWWWWW..look at the little bunny how cute.
 My garden is growing nicely..however some little critter has been getting in.I knew deep down it was the BUNNY..but being me I needed real proof.I couldn't just blame the bunny..its a cute little bunny afterall.
 The other night one of my great friends Andrea stopped by..as I opened the door she almost burst out laughing and said I saw the bunny!!!I said where is is going..THE GARDEN!That bunny..in all its cuteness is eating the garden.So I say maybe since its just one bunny its not a big deal..Thats when Andrea told me bunnies tend to live in groups,
 So this cute little bunny was like a spy.It was doing recon on my ranch.And I fell for it.I bet they had a little bunny meeting and sent out the cutest of the group.
  Me and the bunny might have to do battle

Seeds want to GROW

 So I belive that seeds have one sole reason for being...THEY WANT TO GROW....

Now sure I may belive that,but I'm like a house plant killer.I have never in my life been able to keep anything alive.My son Christopher in school he grow a sunflower...He even named this sunflower..lets just say LOUIE met an untimely death at my hands..oh the look on Christophers face when he saw his Louie,yeah I felt lower then the dirt little Louie was planted in.
 Even with the death of Louie still so fresh(RIP...Louie)I decided that our ranch needed a veggie garden.
So before the cowboy left he fenced me off a great peice of land and I have planted an awesome garden.
All with the simple thought THAT SEEDS WANT TO GROW.And guess what???They do..OMG I have like real plants growing in the dirt1Its AWESOME.
  I may have some cowgirl in me after all

Peacocks OH Peacocks

So we all know how I'm just ever so ffond of my chickens Well let me tell you chickens can't hold a candle in the fear department next to PEACOCKS..OMG these things are scarey as heck.


I don't have to get in the peacock pen everyday(thank goodness..cuz I don't think I could)But every three days I have to feed and water them(they eat and drink slow)

I have been going to do this before they "wake up"this morning I was running behind and didn't get to them till about 7 30 am..I thought ok they are still on the roost its all good.

I go in and they start screaming at me.Then as soon as I get the door shut behind me the big one...jumps down and lands on my head!!!!!!I freak out it freaks out..I have a ponytail his claws got tangled in it...OMG I have a peacock stuck in my hair(yeah its a bad hair day)So I try to calm down(well as calm as I can get)

This critter is screaming and starts clawing even more.Thankfully we both freaked just enough to get this thing out of my hair.

I did however get some awesome tail feathers today!!!

I guess my inner cowgirl hasn't surfaced yet I guess now the chickens don't seem so scarey anymore

HEY HEY HEY I got the HAY OUT

It was HAY DAY..Hay day is when well the animals get hay(you know hence the name HAY DAY---ok I just invented the name HAY DAY )


Ok anyways we have a HUGE Tractor to get these almost 1500pound rolls of hay out into the field.Now keep in mind we don't have lots of NEW anything..We pay cash for everything so new is hardly ever an option.So our tractor is OLD..I mean older then dirt(ok maybe not that old..but its old enough)

So to start this tractor you have to put a pair of pliers inbetween two bolts in the engine to create a spark(yeah a KEY would be so much simpler right?Oh no not in my life)Does the tractor have a key?why yes it does..only it has been so rusted its froozen in place..only my cowboy would buy such a tractor..lol

After about an hour of trying to get the spark..and lots and lots of curseing the cowboy,,After even thinking forget it I can just roll those bad boys out myself(pssst..its impossible to roll those things out..hahahaha..live and learn)I finally got the tractor to start!!!!!YAY ME!!!!!

So I then manage to get the hay out..woohoo I'm on cloud nine..nothing can stop me..I'm driving a tractor I CAN DO ANYTHING!!!!

Well the hay is out in the field and I'm so freaking excited..I did it..Thats when it happened...

Can you belive after all the heck of getting the tractor going I have no clue how to turn it off?I swear total lose at how to get this beast to turn off.I'm now faced with two options I can just leave it running till it runs out of gas,or I could call the cowboy and let him know that really I'm so not a cowgirl

Anyways I bit the bullet called the man...had to listen to him laugh for a good 5 mintues before he explained there was an off button...right near the key that is rusted in place.

BUT HEY HEY HEY..I got the HAY OUT!!!!!